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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144250">I'm Here to Help</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaeFansick/pseuds/TaeFansick'>TaeFansick</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rick and Morty, Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, M/M, Steven is precious, life coach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:34:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaeFansick/pseuds/TaeFansick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jerry and Beth want Rick to improve himself as a person and hire help for Rick. </p><p>But Rick has other thoughts in mind once he meets this young man. </p><p>Explicit for later chapters. AU content. (Steven is still a Gem but has a different backstory.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)/Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We have some conditions we want to discuss.” </p><p>“That’s right,” Beth agreed gently. “Since the kids are in school and I’m off, it’s the perfect time to talk about everything.” </p><p>Rick didn’t have the energy to argue. His whole hookup with Unity only to be dumped left him feeling drained. He still hated the idea of Jerry with his daughter, but she seemed determined to stay with the idiot. He felt hungover from the night before, not sure whether to be thankful or not that his suicide attempt was unsuccessful. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he grumbled, rubbing at his temples. “Let’s get this over with.” </p><p>“Watch the tone, Rick,” Jerry scolded, sounding far too high and mighty for the scientist’s liking. Rick made a mental note to piss in the man’s coffee tomorrow. </p><p>Beth was quick to move things along when she saw her father glaring at her husband. “So, we really appreciate you asking about taking Morty and Summer on adventures. It’ll be helpful towards his school work and hopefully he’ll be more successful. But we also want to talk about you behaving in a way that makes you a better example for the kids.” </p><p>“Fucking hell.” </p><p>“Dad, please. I need to know you want to be around to see the kids grow up.”</p><p>“Grow up? Morty is already trying to get laid and be a teenage dad. Summer is going to...do something with turquoise or some shit. They’re already heading out the door.” </p><p>Beth scowled. “Dad.”</p><p>“Beth, the fuck do you want me to do? Stop doing adventures all together? Sell my portal gun? What?” </p><p>“Well, helping the kids with their homework from time to time would be nice, since you’re such a genius,” Jerry commented. </p><p>“So a live in tutor? You should just fucking let me home school the little bastards. That fucking school is useless!” </p><p>“We can’t pull the kids out of school, Dad,” Beth sighed. “As much as they struggle, Summer is almost done with high school and Morty gets much of his socialization with his peers there. We don’t want him to end up more awkward than he already is.” </p><p>“Because that’s real fucking important.” </p><p>“But we do want you to help with them. And...we think it would be best if you did some counseling-”</p><p>“No!” </p><p>“Told you he was going to be difficult about it,” Jerry spoke up, a smug smile on his face. “You know, Rick, you won’t be doing this alone. Beth and I will be doing a couple of marriage retreats for just the two of us. And you can focus on being a better person rather than a bitter piece of shit that doesn’t pay rent.”</p><p>“Is your marriage retreat going to have some fucking job fair opportunities?” </p><p>“That brings up another point!” Beth interrupted. “Jerry is going to be doing more job hunting. We’re going to be getting him into programs to help him gain some new skills. Isn’t that right, Jerry?” The man grumbled but said nothing to argue. “Now, Dad, I have your counselor coming this weekend. Jerry and I will be going on our first retreat and we expect the kids and the house to be in the same condition we leave them in.” </p><p>“You’re leaving a counselor you’ve never met with your fucking kids?” </p><p>“Of course not,” Beth scoffed. “We’ve already met them. And you are going to follow their advice and be nice. The kids will tell us if you refuse to be cooperative.” </p><p>“Oh no. Not the children. Whatever will I do.” Rick rolled his eyes. “Fine. But if after one weekend, it’s a fucking flop, I reserve the right to continue to fucking hate and reject therapy and deem it the useless waste of time it is.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, now that they’re gone, how long until everyone shows up for the party?” Summer was practically bouncing as they stepped back into the house, having just waved off their parents who left for their retreat. </p><p>A retreat Rick was sure would work miracles. Because that’s realistic. “What party?” </p><p>“Jeez, Summer. A party? After what happened last time?” </p><p>Rick ignored their bickering, pulling out his wallet and handing them some cash. “Here’s fifty each. Leave. I don’t want to remember you exist for the next few hours. I don’t care what you do so long as it doesn’t cause a mess.” </p><p>“You’re chasing us out?” Morty asked, deflating. He had sort of hoped for another Rick and Morty adventure. They hadn’t been on one in days. </p><p>“Do you have like a date coming over or something?” Summer asked, happily taking the money. </p><p>“None of your fucking business. Just leave.” </p><p>Oooo</p><p>It was an hour after Summer and Morty left that Rick found himself answering the door. Rick wasn’t really sure what he was expecting. Some bright eyed kid just out of school. Some prim and proper woman that would not tolerate Rick’s belching or vulgar comments. Some man who clearly wanted to be a sugar daddy but lacked the confidence to follow through. Someone who was using Rick as their last resort to get their career back on track. </p><p>He was not expecting a confident young man with a friendly smile wearing a lovely cyan blouse covered in silver moons and stars with dark jeans and pink flip flops. It took Rick a second to realize it was a young man standing before him, the soft makeup and loose curls making him far too alluring for Rick’s taste. </p><p>The scientist wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or annoyed by that. “So you’re the therapist my daughter hired.” </p><p>“If it helps, sometimes people refer to me as a life coach or an aid. Or just a friend, if you prefer.” He smiled brighter. “I’m Steven. Mind if I come in?” </p><p>Rick stepped aside to allow the other to enter the home, eyes trailing when he realized the blouse the other was wearing was backless, showing a nice expanse of soft and flawless skin. “So. Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to make me feel bad about my life choices and make me swear to be a boring nine to five guy in a fucking office?” </p><p>“I was hired to help you become a better role model for your family. But people have different ideas on what counts as a good role model.” Steven shrugged as he set his bag on the table, pulling a small planner out. “Some people like a strict household. Some people believe in being without labels. Some people want to be in tune with nature. Some people want to be able to thrive in the city. I was hired to help you figure out what you consider a good example and help you polish it. So you can be successful and teach your family how to follow your footsteps. If they so choose, that is. From what Mrs Smith tells me, they idolize you.” </p><p>“Did Beth tell you what I do for a living?” </p><p>“She stated you’re a scientist and inventor. I didn’t ask for details.” He took a seat at the table, flipping the planner open to one of the memo pages in the back. “Why don’t we start with some basic information.” </p><p>“Like what?” </p><p>“What a typical day looks like. Eating habits. Any goals you have or sicknesses you suffer from. I have to know about you before I can really give any helpful advice.” </p><p>“...Okay then. Makes sense. Learning all the flaws first before picking at them.” He sat at the opposite end of the table to distance himself from Steven. “So, do you already know about the stuff my family hates? My drinking, my sexism, my risky adventures.” Rick rolled his eyes. “Where to start?”</p><p>“I’ve had a few clients that drink. I don’t see anything wrong with it if you do it now and again, but you do have to take your age into play. Which is…?” </p><p>“Don’t worry about it. It hasn’t slowed down my game any.” Rick smirked as he lounged back. If he had to suffer through this meeting, maybe he could have some fun with it. </p><p>“Oh? What games do you play? Board games? Baseball?” </p><p>“Fucking what? I’m talking about sex. Obviously.” </p><p>Steven gave a small laugh. “Oh wow, I’m sorry. That stuff tends to go over my head.” He jotted a few more notes down. “So you have one consistant partner or multiple?” </p><p>“I...Multiple.” Rick’s eyes narrowed. “Wait, those comments go over your head? With you dressed like that?” </p><p>Steven blinked in confusion. “Like what? You don’t like my clothes?” </p><p>“You’re dressed like a fucking sugar baby.” </p><p>“A what?” Steven made a mental note to look up the term later. “Ah, nevermind. I’ll make sure to dress more casual for our next meeting. You mentioned sexism but your daughter has a very successful career with her husband being the one at home. And she stated you often take your granddaughter with you and your grandson. What do you think makes you sexist? Are you repulsed by women?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Body shame?”</p><p>“No. I’ve done it with all types.” He fucked a planet for crying out loud. </p><p>“Believe women should be treated as property or have a distinct role in life they should never set foot out of?”</p><p>“Of course not!”</p><p>“Then I’m confused. Why do you think yourself sexist?” </p><p>“Because I think of women as a liability. Because girls like Summer have been conditioned by society to care heavily of their appearance and-while they insist on being independent and uncaring of men’s opinion about them-strive to be seen as attractive to everyone of any preference, which is an impossibility. My own daughter is forcing herself to endure a sham of a marriage even though Jerry is a piece of shit just because she doesn’t want to be marked as a failure of a wife and mother. She gave her kids a home, they have plenty to eat and they never want for anything. I don’t know what the fuck else she wants. And Summer is starting to figure out that she might not like just guys. And honestly she’d be better off. The men of our species are incredibly flawed.” A silence settled over them, Steven just humming thoughtfully and jotting a couple more notes down. “What? The fuck are you writing?” </p><p>“Nothing too important.” <i>Relationship with family is strained but positive. Believes not only that he is better than everyone around him, but that his family by associating is also better than the people around them. </i></p><p><i>Possibly resents men in contact with his daughter and granddaughter because he feels guilt over his past relationship with his wife.</i> “What about your grandson? Does he pursue any romantic interests?” </p><p>“Morty doesn’t need that shit. He’s going to follow in my footsteps. Except maybe a little dumber.” </p><p>“What makes you say that?” </p><p>“Morty doesn’t need to make the same mistakes I made or Jerry made. Love is just a chemical to make people breed. He doesn’t need to be stuck in a relationship that loosely chips away at his will to live.”</p><p>“That’s a bit of a harsh statement but I’m glad your family’s happiness is important to you.” <i>Chanels his self-loathing through his grandson, mocking him whenever any action too closely resembles anything he himself may have done in the past.</i></p><p>“Harsh my ass.” </p><p>“What about your own parents or guardians? Were they supportive of your pursuit of science?” </p><p>“Yeah, I guess. I mean, it was gunna happen either way.” </p><p>“What if your grandchildren didn’t want to pursue science? What if they wanted to focus on music or writing or law? Maybe religious studies or teaching?” </p><p>“Religious studies is a waste of fucking time. And I don’t fucking respect buerecrats.” </p><p>“I see.” Rather than looking annoyed, Steven just appeared amused. It reminded Rick way too much of Unity and he was suddenly back reading those notes. </p><p>
  <i> “I know how it goes with us. I lose who I am and become part of you. Because in a strange way, you’re better at what I do without even trying.”</i>
</p><p>It made him suddenly realize what he was doing to his family. “....I mean, it doesn’t matter what I think. I’ll be dead in a few years anyway.” </p><p>“Oh?” Steven’s brow furrowed in concern. Something shifted in the man. </p><p>“Are we just about done here? I’d like to move on with my day.” </p><p>“I’m afraid I still have to do some observations. Feel free to pretend I’m not here.” </p><p>“Good.” Rick shoved away from the table, heading into the garage. “But my workspace is a no fucking therapy zone!” He sealed the door, securing it with a laser system. </p><p>“Fair enough.” Steven jotted another note. <i> Major trust issues.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Grandpa, we’re back!” Summer announced, stepping into the home. </p><p>“He’s still in the garage.” </p><p>“Who the hell are you?” Morty asked, glaring at the person in their home, looking over the books on the bookshelf. He looked normal enough. Jeans, a black t-shirt, pink flip flops… Kinda weird his hair and makeup were done. Even weirder that it looked nice on him. </p><p>“I’m Steven. I’m here to help your grandfather.”</p><p>“Wait, therapy? Is that what he was being so weird about?” </p><p>“I mean that makes sense.” Summer commented, rolling her eyes. “He’s fought against the idea for so long he’s not gunna admit someone came over for him.” She gave Steven a once-over, appreciating how cute he was. Looks like Mom took her advice to try and find someone Rick would find attractive. “So has he avoided you completely?”</p><p>“No, we actually covered some good ground when I first arrived. But since then he’s been locking himself away.” Steven frowned. “Actually it’s a little concerning. Does he have water in there? A restroom? Food?” Because if not, he’s been in there for a good six hours without any basic needs. Not undoable, but something no one should have to do in their own home. </p><p>“I guess. Sometimes we only see him over breakfast or dinner. I kinda assumed he just came out while we were in school. Or somewhere off planet.” </p><p>“Off planet?” </p><p>“Yeah, Rick visits multiverses and other planets on a regular basis. He and mom told you that, right?”</p><p>“No, it hadn’t come up.” Steven gave a smile, relaxing a little. “Good. So he isn’t secluding himself on my behalf.” </p><p>“You know you don’t have to talk like that here,” Morty pointed out. When Steven blinked in confusion, the teen explained. “Y-you know all like...professional. You can just- You can relax here. Rick will be more willing to talk if he isn’t being-feeling like he’s being interrogated.” </p><p>“Right. Sorry. It’s a force of habit.” Looks like the Diamonds rubbed off on him more than he cared to admit. No matter how many memories he tried washing away. “Well I’m supposed to be doing more observations, but I don’t want to intrude on any family time.” From what Mrs Smith had told him, Rick wasn’t a very chatty person under the best circumstances. “I guess I’ll leave my card…Tell your mother I’m not charging for today.” </p><p>Oooo</p><p>When Rick finally left the garage, it was dark out. Morty had sent him a text earlier asking if he had wanted any of the food they made, but he declined. His grandson had responded with a “that guy left already if that’s what you’re worried about” but Rick decided against answering, leaving the door barricaded. </p><p>When he did re-emerge, the home was just as quiet as it had been earlier that day. He went to go make himself something to eat and found Steven’s card on the fridge, along with a note from Morty. <i> Said he’s not charging for today. Wants you to call him to see what time works best for you tomorrow or Monday. Said if he doesn’t hear from you, he’ll come by same time.</i> Rick grumbled. Why did he even have to do this shit? </p><p>But the kid was pretty cute. Maybe beautiful was the right word. Stunning, even. And sweet. But that was his job. He had to be sweet and approachable. </p><p>Welp, he didn’t want the kid to pester him too much. He pulled out his phone and shot a text out to the number on the card. </p><p>
  <i>Rick : This is Rick. Don’t come by early tomorrow. I have to chase my grandkids out.</i>
</p><p>He glanced at the clock. It was already three in the morning. Steven likely wouldn’t be up. The older man shrugged and fixed himself up some food, snacking on wafer cookies as it cooked. He really shouldn’t have gone all day without eating, but he was too caught up to notice the time. </p><p>Surprisingly enough, his phone dinged. Steven. </p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: If it makes you more comfortable, we can do more one on one sessions, but I will need to do observations with you and your family eventually. I think beginning with your grandchildren would be best, but it’s your call.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rick: That was a quick response.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: I don’t sleep much. Night is half of all time, you know. And it feels like a waste to spend it all sleeping. I prefer night anyway.</i>
</p><p>Rick paused in his chewing to re-read the message. What? <i>Rick: Must be a strain on your relationship though, right? Or does your bf or whatever work nights?</i></p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: I’m not seeing anyone. So no worries, I’m not talking about your sessions with anyone but you or your family.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rick: And what have you told my family?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: That I worried you weren’t drinking enough water or eating enough. But your grandchildren assured me you could easily leave anytime you wanted if you were in need of anything. For the record, I would like you to eat more food and drink more water, but we can discuss that tomorrow.</i>
</p><p><i>Rick: You know you don’t have to always talk like a doctor, right?</i> By then, Rick’s food was finished and he took a seat at the kitchen table, quickly scarfing it down. He knew he was going to feel a little sick for a while, but oh well. At least he had breakfast with the family before Beth and Jerry left. A small one, but he wasn’t running on empty. </p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: I’ll work on that. Your grandson said the same thing.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rick: You can use their names. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: When would you like to meet?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rick: You can come over around noon or whenever after that. I’ll let you sleep.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: Okay. I’m going to be up a little longer if you change your mind.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Rick: seriously?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Sugarbaby: I really don’t sleep much.</i>
</p><p>Rick didn’t bother replying after that. At least he knew that Steven wouldn’t bug him about his sleeping habits too much.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rick had surprised his grandkids when he was the one to answer the door the next afternoon. Steven had arrived on twelve on the dot dressed more casual than the last time Rick had seen him. Lightwash jeans and his pink flip flops, but a black shirt featuring a pink star and a long oversized pink flannel shirt. He had done his makeup and hair again, looking both disheveled and done up at the same time. “Hey, Rick,” Steven greeted, stepping in. He had his messenger bag, no doubt ready to take notes. </p><p>“Hey.” Rick led him to the living room. “Go ahead and take a seat.” </p><p>Morty and Summer glanced at one another in confusion when Steven came and greeted them with a smile before taking a seat in the chair by the couch. “And how is everyone today?” </p><p>“Um...Okay, I guess?” Summer replied. </p><p>“Did you want us to leave, Rick?” </p><p>“Nah, it’s fine.” He took his seat on the couch closest to the chair, pulling out his flask and sparing a glance over to Steven. “You did say you wanted to do observations, right?” </p><p>Steven gave a nod of approval. “I want to see how your family dynamic works. Your family has expressed some concern, but I have yet to really see any issues.” He shrugged as he pulled out his notebook. “Is there anything you want to vocalize as far as concerns or-” He stopped, staring at nothing in particular, his expression reminding Morty of when Summer had an argument with her friends and she replayed the whole thing in her head a million times to come up with insults she wish she would have said. “...I’m just going to see if there’s anything I need to worry about. And if anything worries anyone here that they want to mention, please say so.” </p><p>Rick gave a nod, not calling attention to how Steven tried relaxing his vocabulary. “Welp, go ahead you little shits. Let’s hear any concerns you have.” </p><p>“Seriously?” Summer inquired. </p><p>“You’re not-This isn’t a trick, is it?” Morty felt nervous all of a sudden. </p><p>Rick sighed, still relaxed into the couch and looking at the tv. “No, no trick. Just anything you wanna get off your chest.” </p><p>“Well...You could stop talking about my parents and their marriage failing,” Morty grumbled. “We all know they aren’t perfect just…I dunno…” </p><p>“Morty, your father is dead weight-”</p><p>“I think this could be saved for when all of the family is together for a session,” Steven interrupted softly. He did make note of it though. “Thank you for voicing that, Morty. We’ll come back to that.” The teen nodded, looking embarrassed but saying nothing more on the subject.  “What about your grandfather’s work? His less than healthy habits? Your parents voiced his drinking and promiscuity might be uncomfortable for you.” </p><p>“I mean, yeah, it’s totally gross to think of your seventy-year-old grandpa nailing anyone, but it doesn’t hurt us any,” Morty shrugged off, smiling at Rick’s scowl. </p><p>“Though it was kind of messed up you chose to hang out with Unity rather than come home with us,” Summer added. </p><p>“Unity isn’t going to be around anymore,” Rick cut off, his tone cold and distant. “We went our separate ways and that’s that.” </p><p>“But you still chose someone else over us! Your family.” Summer avoided eye contact, clearly still hurt by the interaction. </p><p>Steven hummed softly, jotting more notes. “Thank you for sharing, Summer.” He shut the notebook. “Rick, may I see your workspace?” </p><p>The scientist rolled his eyes with a scowl. “Yeah, yeah.” He led Steven to the garage, preparing for a large speech about abandonment. “Listen, I don’t want to hear-” </p><p>“Where do you keep your water?” </p><p>“....What?”</p><p>“Water. For when you spend large amounts of time in here. I want you to hydrate more.” Steven scanned over the workplace, impressed by the gadgets and projects. “This is an impressive space…” </p><p>“Thanks.” Rick didn’t know what to think. Shouldn’t he be getting the third degree right about now?</p><p>“We’re going to get you a couple of reusable water bottles. That will also help you be sure to take time to step back from your work now and then.” Steven scribbled a couple more notes. “And I want to take you to dinner.” </p><p>Rick’s eyes shot open and he snickered. “Damn you work fast!” He gave a scan over Steven’s form again, thinking about those thighs around his head as he made the other beg for more. “Guess I could do that~” </p><p>“I always find that doing observations over family dinners leads to a lot of information. And I feel better about it when I can treat the other person. Where do you think Morty and Summer will want to go?” </p><p>“Morty and Summer? Why would they be there?” Was this kid an exhibitionist? </p><p>“I mean we can order takeout if you prefer?” </p><p>Rick deflated. Oh. This was some therapy thing. “Right...I’ll ask em.”</p>
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